Reflections | How Chinese family ties have evolved, from rigid rules of Confucian times to today



While my friends were scuba diving off the east coast of Peninsular Malaysia last weekend, I hired a car and a driver and made a two-hour trip to the city of Kuala Terengganu.

It was my first visit in more than 30 years, and only the third time I have set foot in โ€œKTโ€, where my grandfather and his grandfather were born.

The latterโ€™s father โ€“ my great-great-great-grandfather โ€“ had made his way to KT from the district of Tongan, in the southern Chinese province of Fujian, sometime in the early 19th century.

He probably married a local woman, or several, and for the next few generations, his descendants made their home in what would become a small coastal city.

Today my only relations in KT โ€“ those that I know of anyway โ€“ are the descendants of my grandfatherโ€™s siblings and half-siblings. And I made a point not to see them while I was there for the day โ€“ there were far better ways of spending my time in KT.

It is not that I do not like them, but we have nothing in common apart from the fact that we share a few ancestors.

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