A young woman in business attire comes home, cuddles with her cat, cleans her high heels, takes a shower and settles down on the couch to watch TV in her pajamasย with pizza and a soft drink. Afterward, she tidies up, takes out the trash (“no clutter in this apartment ever”) and spends the rest of the evening on the sofa with her cat.
The title of the video: “POV: You live alone in NYC and have no friends so this is how you spend your Friday night.” It has already raked in over 11 million views on Instagram.
This reel is the most successful clip to date by Paulina Cee, who boasts over 320,000 followers on Instagram.
Her account features numerous videos of this kind, always emphasizing her friend-free life.
And Paulina Cee is just one influencer amid a broader trend: Social media is full of young women presenting their solitude as a lifestyle. Sometimes they have a dog, sometimes one or two cats, but otherwise the videos share a similar aesthetic: an apartmentย so clean and so sparsely furnished, it verges on sterility.
At peace with themselves and being alone
One of the pioneers of this trend is Lana Isa from Toronto. Her videos bear such titles as “just an introvert in her natural habitat (home alone with yummy food)” or “what a weekend looks like as a friendless girl with NO interest in men or dating.”
Lana Isa always ends her reels with the positive message, “Enjoy your life.” She appears to be at peace with her largely solitary lifestyle. Apart from FaceTime calls with her mother and contact with her sister, her clips mainly revolve around consumption: usually unhealthy food, new clothes or movies.
The Canadian says her content has no purpose other than sharing her real life, which, according to her, has been shaped by generalized anxiety disorder and the loss of her relationship and all of her friendships several years ago.
It was never supposed to be just an ‘aesthetic vlog,’ย or to romanticize having no friends. …ย I just happened to start filming and show the current chapter of my life, which was the peace that came after I dealt with my feelings.”
Authenticity hard to verify
Mareike Ernst, an assistant professor of psychoanalytically-oriented psychotherapy research at the University of Klagenfurt, has mixed feelings about such reels.
Ernst,ย whose researchย focuses on psychotherapy and loneliness,ย says that on the one hand, itย is positive when young women show that being alone, even in public, is good and normal:ย “That can help destigmatize it and provides a counterpoint to the content of many other influencers, who often portray almost constant social interaction.”
On the other hand, young people in similar life situations might view these “loneliness influencers” as role models, “so that it becomes increasingly normalized to spend most of your time alone and convince yourself that ‘this is perfectly fine.'”
Whether these loneliness influencers are all truly authentic is difficult to verify. What matters, however, is that many followers believe them and respond positively to the solitary lifestyle shown in the videos. The fact remains: Prolonged social isolation can make people ill. Studies show that it increases the risk of heart disease, mental illness and premature death.
More and more young people are exposed to these risks. In a 2025 World Health Organization (WHO) study, between 17% and 21% of respondents aged 13 to 29 said they felt lonely, with the highest rates observed among teenagers. The WHO estimates that around one quarter of them are affected by social isolation. According to a Nivea study conducted in 13 countries, 24% of young people aged 16 to 24 feel socially isolated, compared with 19% across all age groups.
Solitude as an aesthetic?
“Loneliness influencers” are almost exclusively women. Ernst suspects this has to do with gender stereotypes: Women are expected to build relationships and be there for others. This countertrend may therefore constitute a form of emancipation.
“Or perhaps it simply fits better with the female influencer aesthetic, which often focuses on self-care, cooking, tidying up and similar activities.”
Because of this aesthetic, US psychotherapist Phil Lane recently addressed these influencers in an Instagram post. “Loneliness influencers, stop trying to make loneliness as an aesthetic happen;ย it is not going to happen. It is important that we are around our fellow human beings. It’s one of our basic human needs.”
Lane stressed that there is nothing wrong with spending time alone. “Sometimes, I really enjoy my own company, and I enjoy solitude, but we can’t overapply this because it can have significant health risks.”
So far, however, his message has gained little traction: His post has garnered only around 900 views.
This article was originally written inย German.