It is hard to picture Sonia Samtani as a painfully shy teenager with self-esteem so low that she was too scared to speak up, even when ordering a meal at a restaurant.
For years, Hong Kong-born Samtani felt she was inadequate: at home her sibling was more important, while at school her peers were.
“At school, there were not many Indians and I knew that my family was different, my culture was different, my upbringing was different. I remember thinking, ‘Oh, if only I had white skin and blue eyes, I’d be happier,’” Samtani recalls.
“Everyone around me seemed more confident and articulate, and there was something stopping me from feeling that way. I was unconsciously looking for a better coping mechanism.”
I’m avoiding something, so what is that? … Is it my mother’s voice when I was young telling me that even if I got 98 per cent, that was not good enough?
She changed her looks and behaviour before realising that it was her beliefs that needed modifying.